'IF I'M SPARED' BY HELEN SIMPSON

Readers’ Notes for Helen Simpson’s ‘If I’m Spared’

Who wrote this piece?

Helen Simpson grew up in London and read English at Oxford University. There, she had her first break as a writer when she won a competition run by the glossy women’s magazine Vogue. Since then, Helen Simpson has juggled raising a family with writing award-winning fiction, and she is one of only a very few writers to have built a reputation exclusively on short stories. She is the author of four collections: Four Bare Legs in a Bed (1990), Dear George (1995), Hey Yeah Right Get a Life (2000) and Constitutional (Jonathan Cape, 2005). Her third, a set of linked stories about the messy and miraculous business of motherhood, made her name.

Author photo: © Derek Thomson

Click here for more biographical details, a bibliography and a critical perspective of Helen Simpson.

What is the piece and what is it about?

'If I’m Spared' is a short story of about 6,000 words. It was published in Constitutional and like other stories in this collection, it reflects on illness, time and change. The story concerns the shockwaves sent through an already-struggling marriage when Tom, a slick, self-centred foreign correspondent, is given frightening news by a doctor. The story's focus is Tom's progress and in particular, the promise he makes to be a better husband to Barbara and to be a better father to their two-year-old daughter, Daisy: 'He shuddered at his selfish self of yesterday … He felt remorse for the times when he had been unkind and, yes actually, even cruel. … If, he vowed in his mind, IF I am spared, never again will I complain about anything. I will accept life as it comes and I will not waste any more of it in pandering to the greedy restless self.' Around this vow, the story explores themes such as addiction, infidelity, parental responsibility, and what Tom calls 'the timeless womanly qualities'.

You can read 'If I'm Spared' by Helen Simpson here.

What kind of read is it?

A compelling one. The opening grips; we are immediately inside a fraught, fragile marriage. We learn that Tom is having an affair as he shouts to his wife from the garden inbetween muttering to his mistress on his mobile. Then we are swept along through the turbulent events of several weeks, in just a few pages. There is surprising twist half-way and a sharp fall at the end, so relish your first reading! The story has a clever circular shape and is neatly framed by disconcertingly similar scenes.

The story is written in the third person, from Tom’s viewpoint. But we can form our own opinion of Barbara by paying attention to her actions and direct speech. And we learn more about Tom through his habitual use of clichés, many of which resonate in the story: 'Thing was, he wanted his cake and eat it. Barbara could be a wet blanket all right, nothing to talk about except the child and the dripping tap. … he toyed with certain useful clichés. "I need some space" … "Time to move on." That would do it if it came to it. Dignified, non-specific, fabulously exculpatory.'

The writing is lively, detailed and atmospheric. There are many references to the time of day and changes in the weather/seasons which make the emotional content vivid and memorable.  And sharply-observed details to do with nature and growth convince us that Tom sees the world anew in the middle of the story: 'He walked back home from the station, through the park, looking around him with peeled eyes. … the criss-crossed cable-like flexibility of some late catkins … little pleated leaves still fresh, not quite unpacked. … Daisy ran to him … and he wondered why he hadn’t noticed before that emergent blue-white frill of tooth.’ There are flashes of humour, and a very funny dialogue in which Tom repeatedly attempts to diagnose his illness to ‘an uncharming young female (doctor) with glasses like arrow slits'.

When we’ve read it, how could we structure our discussion?

• As the title suggests this is really Tom’s story. How do your feelings towards him change from the beginning to the end? To what extent did you think Tom would keep his promise and change his ways? What do you think Tom’s swearing and clichéd language reveal about him?
• How would you describe Barbara? Tom moves from criticism - 'She made such a production out of being a misery. … she was ravenous for pity, addicted to it' - to praise - 'How wise she was, and how patient and kind!' How far do you agree with Tom’s descriptions of Barbara?
• 'They’d had their own dynamic all along; he saw that now.' How would you characterise the relationship between Tom and Barbara?  Do you know any couples like them? What do you imagine brought them together before the story began? What do you think will happen to the relationship in the future?
• How do you react to Fiona and the woman eating a bean salad on the underground?
• Fay Weldon describes Helen Simpson as 'the most sensuous writer in the land'. Describe a part of the story you find sensuous. How does the writing affect your feelings towards the characters?
• What makes you smile? Do you think this story is in some ways a comedy?

Reading group tips
1. In The Reading Groups Book (Oxford University Press, 2001) Jenny Hartley stresses: 'The atmosphere of trust is central to the meaning and success of the reading group.'
For some groups, talking about very personal or emotional issues is what they value most about discussing the themes of a piece of writing like 'If I'm Spared'. Others have a rule not to mention domestic circumstances, intimate relationships or distressing experiences. Decide on an approach that everyone in your group is happy with.

2. It might be interesting to draw up a list of the things members like best about short stories in general and use it to further your exploration of 'If I'm Spared'. You could return to the list when you discuss another short story.

If we enjoyed this, what other writing might appeal to us?

'The Door'and 'The Tree' (also in Constitutional) are both gritty, finely-crafted stories concerned with change. In Hey Yeah Right Get a Life, the title story is linked with the last story in the collection, 'Hurrah for the Hols', and both focus on the changes children bring to a marriage, as well as beautifully portraying the 'deep romance and boredom' of motherhood.

Helen Simpson’s story 'In the Driving Seat' is included in New Writing 13. To download the text of that story, with Readers' Notes, Teachers' Notes and an interview with Helen Simpson about ‘In the Driving Seat’, see the Section on Bullies on the New Writing website

If you like short stories by women there are many collections and anthologies, why not take a look at the Reading Compass for Women's Writing Short Stories or try the Reading Compass for General Fiction for short stories and anthologies by both women and men. Helen Simpson admires the short stories of Katherine Mansfield and Alice Munro.